Harry Potter Redeux

Grace Ann is a conservative Christian mother (and possible troll) in the process of rewriting Harry Potter into ‘Hogwarts School Of Prayer And Miracles’, a God-fearing tale her kids can read without turning into witches. Because you know, that’s totally been happening to other children. Presumably, she has read the Harry Potter books and has managed to avoid turning into a witch, maybe it only affects children. Check out her introduction while I go pound my head against the nearest desk:

Hello, friends! My name is Grace Ann. I’m new to this whole fanfiction thing; but recently, I’ve encountered a problem that I believe this is the solution to. My little ones have been asking to read the Harry Potter books; and of course I’m happy for them to be reading; but I don’t want them turning into witches! So I thought….. why not make some slight changes so these books are family friendly? And then I thought, why not share this with all the other mommies who are facing the same problem? So-Ta da! Here it is! I am SO excited to share this with all of you!

She’s already completed the first seven chapters of the first book so far, and let me tell you,  they’re something else. The book starts with Hagrid coming to rescue Harry from his atheist aunt and uncle who just taught Harry about evolution (gasp!), then it goes downhill from there. You can read all seven chapters that are finished HERE.

Oh, her poor kids. You think she lets them watch Lord of the Rings? Because I’ve got the feeling she probably doesn’t. Still, I’m sure they’ll grow up to be fine, well-adjusted young adults. “Wanna come over for a sleepover?!” Absolutely not, your mom is nuts.