National Emergency

On Friday, Donald Trump declared a state of national emergency. He did this in order to reallocate billions of dollars in emergency funds to be used to build a wall on the border between the United States and Mexico. This wall is desperately needed in order to protect America from the hordes of dozens, nay, hundreds of poor and unarmed women and children flooding over the border in order to bring drugs and crime which otherwise don’t exist in our country.

Trump said that this wall is necessary in order to stop all drug and human trafficking and will bring crime as we know it to a standstill.  Thus why it was so urgent to declare this state of emergency.

After the announcement, Trumps retreated to the White House where he spent the entire weekend in the War Room with his top advisers in marathon sessions of planning and strategizing, trying to nail down the best path forward. With the fate of the country in the balance, Trump decided that there would be no rest until the job is done.

Just kidding.

Trump didn’t do any of that. Right after the announcement, Lord Dampnut boarded Air Force One and flew down to Mar-A-Largo in Florida where he spent the weekend golfing, watching Saturday Night Live, and tweeting about his dissatisfaction with S&L for making fun of him for declaring a national emergency and immediately going to his resort.

Happy Presidents’ Day #MarALardass

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